


You need to be sure

by msinterpret



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Break Up, Carmilla AU, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 13:49:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11556501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msinterpret/pseuds/msinterpret
Summary: “Okay.”“Okay?”“Yeah, okay,” she reassured.  Carmilla knew this was not something she wanted.  Never in a million years would she ever think she would need to grant Laura this wish.  But here she was, trying her absolute best to look her beloved in the eyes and give her what she needed - space.





	You need to be sure

“Okay.”

 

“Okay?”

 

“Yeah, okay,” she reassured.  Carmilla knew this was not something she wanted.  Never in a million years would she ever think she would need to grant Laura this wish.  But here she was, trying her absolute best to look her beloved in the eyes and give her what she needed - space.

 

“That’s it?”  Laura asked, disbelieving what she had just heard.  “This is what you want too?”  She took a step forward, cautiously reaching for Carmilla’s arm only to see her girlfriend retract from her comforting touch.  After a moment’s pause, she got her answer.

 

“Yes, whatever you need.”

 

“That’s not what I asked.”

 

“Well it’s the answer you want,” Carmilla replied bitterly.  “You don’t need this, and neither do I.  So until you figure out it is that you need, I-I’ll back off.”  She crossed her arms over her chest and took another step back, forcing her gaze on the floor beneath her, hoping it was level enough to keep her steady.  She couldn't bear to lose Laura, especially not like this.  

 

Their time together had only just begun.  After months of pining over each other to finally realize their potential as a couple, it broke Carmilla’s heart to have to give her up.  But if this is what Laura truly needed - space, in order to figure out where her career could take her - she’d be damned if she let herself be selfish.  

 

“Carm,” Laura tried.  The sheer layer of tears over her eyes made it difficult to see her, but she knew she was breaking the girl in front of her.  “Please, I need you to be honest with me.  I am willing to work through this, I’m willing to -“

 

“No, cupcake.  Don’t say it,”  Carmilla begged.  “You have so many great things coming your way.  I can’t stand in your path, okay?  I’ll only hold you back.”  Usually, she was stronger than this.  She’s felt heartbreak, but she’s also bounced back from it.  With Laura, she was certain she wouldn't be able to.  “We had our fun.  We don’t need to make it harder than it already is.”

 

Laura could only look at her.  With conviction in her eyes, she stared deep into her lover’s soul and truly looked.  Even without Carmilla looking back into her eyes, she knew she didn't mean what she was telling her.  _Coward_ , she thought.  “You’re a coward, Carmilla,” she voiced.  She was shaking.  She knew she meant more to her than the girl before her was trying to let on.  She knew what they shared, she knew what they had and that it was real.

 

Looking up from her place, Carmilla was shocked.  She should’ve known better.  Laura could see right through her.  If anyone knew her, it was this tiny ball of sunshine. “I-I’m sorry, Laura,” she gulped.  She continued to break her girlfriend’s heart, as well as her own.  “You and I both know it would be too hard.  I’m trying to save us both the trouble,” she blinked back the tears, knowing that if a single drop was shed, Laura would come running into her arms and she would be forced to take back everything she had just said.

 

“Has this meant nothing to you?”  Laura cried, poorly holding back her sobs.  Carmilla was unsure how it was possible, but she stayed planted in her space.  She could not be selfish.

 

“You know you mean everything to me,” she admitted, looking to Laura as if she were the only person that existed.  She could barely breathe, this was suffocating her.

 

“Then prove it.  Stay with me, Carm.  You want me and I want you.  W-we can work through it.  I know we can!”  Laura was frantic.  At this point, she was in Carmilla’s space, holding her arms, trying to get through to her.  

 

Carmilla was still.  Too still.  Too numb.  Laura needed this.  She needed to be without her.  She needed to see the world without a lens of ‘Carmilla’ blocking her.  She needed to be free from the destruction that had been holding them back from the world.  She deserved better.  So she gently placed her hands on either side of Laura’s face, and brought her lips together with hers.  Carmilla poured her heart out in her kiss.  It was her love letter to Laura, letting her know that she would always be there with her, that she would always love her.  No matter where life took her sweet love, she would find a way to her.  She kissed her like it was the last time she would ever see her, even though she knew she could never stay away.  When she pulled away, there were tears streaming down her own cheeks, and she was so shaken.  “I will always be with you, Laura.  I love you,”  she gave her a small, sad smile.  Laura returned it.

 

 

“You need to do this, sweetheart,” she continued.  “I’m sorry,” was all she said as she dropped her hands from Laura’s face and backed away.  Leaving her sweet lover, she walked out of the room, out of the apartment, and ran until her legs gave out.

 

She couldn't look back.


End file.
